Each time I have the opportunity to counsel men on relationship and
sexuality, quite a large number of them want a decent, God-fearing, nice
and financially-dependent lady as a wife, but not a sexually naive
virgin. They reason that such a lady will definitely be a thorn in the
flesh on the wedding night. They compare the task of handling a virgin
on the bed
with that of teaching an elephant how to dance. Putting it precisely,
many guys are not ready to start fussing with a sexually-naive lady on
their wedding nights.
Many argue that they are not ready to face another load of emotional stress after overcoming the stress that
wedding preparations
had put on them. They also dread the teaching rituals of every other
night of the relationship. But this is actually the best part of the
game. Why would you prefer some other fellow to help you act the lead
role in the drama?. It is the person that acts the lead role that
becomes the star and the
super star.
Marrying a virgin wife should never
constitute a sexual nuisance or a challenge. Rather, the groom should
have a good, loving attitude towards his bride. He should not make it
mandatory to have sex with her on the wedding night nor exhibit all the
expert methods that same night. Even if the bride is not a virgin, it is
very possible that she may not be an expert on bed if she has not been
exceptionally sexually active prior to marriage.
Start your lovemaking with a relaxed mind; do not look too serious. Just make sure you
do the right thing
at the right time. The groom should say something sweet and romantic to
his wife before anything else as this will relax her more. The same
goes for the bride; she should not appear as a saintly prey and the man
as the merciless devourer. She should give her husband a reassuring look
of acceptance and approval.
Help each other to undress and give room for both of you to
refresh yourselves with a good bath. This is necessary to calm you down after the ordeal of the wedding
ceremony
you have both gone through. The physical, mental and spiritual
exhaustion might affect you negatively if not well handled. It is,
therefore, very important to be in a relaxed mood and not compulsorily
focus your mind on sex for the night; you still have all other nights to
yourselves. When you finally commence, do not skip foreplay. You don’t
need to be in a hurry; remember the wedding night is just the beginning
of a lifetime of sexual enjoyment together.
After bathing, which
you can have together, change into something comfortable and nice. The
bride should change into something sweet, irresistible, transparent and
seductive; preferably a new lacy bra and undies with a good body
perfume. The bride just has to smell very good. The groom should change
into good pyjamas and make use of a good perfume and comb his hair
neatly. The choice of the room should provide enough privacy and create a
romantic atmosphere. Switch off extremely bright lights because dim
lights are more romantic with candle-light. All these have a calming
effect on the new couple and help to remove any
anxiety and feeling of embarrassment. Dark light is not sexually appealing at all.
You
both can then graduate into holding of hands, staying closer and
maintaining good body contact. The body contact should take a longer
time in order to enable the lady especially to be more relaxed and
prepared for the job ahead. Then, lovingly undress each other. It is
needful for the newly wedded to undress in front of each other since it
helps to quickly handle shyness. This is very important and if done
rightly, it creates oneness. This, however, should not be done in haste.
As the undressing goes on, hugging and kissing should also come in
gently and at intervals. After removing one piece of dress, kissing and
hugging should follow before removing the next piece. It is important
not to give room for embarrassment at all because you are both now
husband and wife.
Then love-play should follow by caressing each
others upper body; for the bride, the breasts most especially, the
nipples. The nipples should not be roughly fondled but faintly touched
as a feather touches the skin; or on the other hand, let the man use his
tongue gently on the breasts; it is very stimulating and exciting. The
lady should let her husband know whenever he does something that excites
her; this will encourage the woman to be more relaxed and have a loving
attitude towards sex and her husband.
Knowing that he cares for
her feeling also is another boost. If a husband-to-be has this mindset, I
am certain that having a virgin as a wife is worth the bargain.
Written by Rev. Mrs Funmi Akingbade
On the streets and down in the Shenzhen subway, in-ear fake Beats headphones are sold for as little as $1.
